Good for a Chuckle

With Hat Tip to David Michael Cortez

Your Uniat friends call you schismtastic. (yeah-it happened, it was funny)


It hasent been lent for months and you can still recite the cannon of Andrew of Crete
Your uniat friends ask what the difference is and you get an evil grin and laugh-before launching into your well rehearsed list (filioque,immaculate conception,papal supremcy, celebate priesthood......)

They wonder why you call them uniats

You know all your prayers in old slovonic

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You are more Greek than the Greeks.

You know not to cross your legs or put your hands behind your back in Church.

You are conversant in Byzantine History.

You call Roman Catholics, Papist.

You tried to baptise the cat (Thanks bicycle pilgrim.)

You use words like heretic and schismatic in normal conversations.

You have Chinese delivery on your speed dial.

Your wife is OK with wearing a head covering at Church.

You sprinkle holy water on the mormon missonaries.

You carry a prayer rope.

You know the meaning of "filoque."

Your Parish is truly international with members that are Greek, Arab, Russian, Eriterean, Serbian, and ancestors from all over Western Europe and the Americas.

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Top 10 Signs You’re an Orthodox Convert

10. Your church was originally an IHOP.

9. Your real name is Bill but people call you Seraphim.

8. You’re extremely socially conservative but appear to be the world’s biggest hippie in appearance.

7. Those damn Catholics!

6. Not only do you know what Byzantine and Znemeny chant are, they are hobbies of yours.

5. You consult a priest before making any important life decision such as whether or not it’s OK to go to a barbque on Friday or have turkey on Thanksgiving.

4. What does my bishop/priest know anyway? They’ve only been doing their job for 40 years while I’ve been Orthodosx for 4!

3. Holidays such as Christmas and Easter consist of going to church and nothing else. No presents, no dinners, no decorations, no parties, NO NOTHING and you’re OK with that!

2. Only serial killers and mass murderers are more evil than a children’s Halloween party.

1. When your past religious afilliations are brought up, you begin to shake and your immediate response is “Please for the love of God don’t go there!”