" 4830 June 1950
You said that St Gregory of Nyssa wrote: 'All fallen beings, even the demons, will attain rebirth and restoration and will be saved.'18 He expressed this as a conjecture and not as a firm belief. The Holy Church did not accept this opinion; all of St Gregory's writing, apart from this conjecture, is pure and orthodox. St Barsanuphius said to his pupils: 'Do not think that people, even saints can comprehend perfectly all the depths of God'. The holy Apostle says: 'Our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect' [1 Cor. 13:9]. And again: 'O depth of the riches and wisdom of God! How unsearchable are his judgements!' [Rom. 11:33].
Holy Scripture says that there will be eternal life and eternal suffering and we must believe firmly and not go into fine points of theology with our limited little minds and our hearts uncleansed of passions. St John of the Ladder writes: 'When our soul leaves this world we shall not be blamed, brothers, for not having worked miracles, or for not having been theologians or having attained visions. But we shall certainly have to give an acount to God of why we have not unceasingly wept over our sins' (Ch. 7:70). And St Isaac the Syrian says: 'Flee from reasonings about the dogmas as from a stampeding lion' (9th chapter). I could write much more still on this subject, but I think this is enough.
18. See Of the Soul and the Resurrection, p. 444; The Great Catechism ch. 26, p. 495f. "
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These words of Father John are so true for me. I am an unclean man. My heart is full of the passions and they thrive within me. I am a man of unclean lips.
My little mind attempts to grasp things too wonderful for me.
And he's right. I have not repented with any real depth. I have one foot in this world and one foot in the world to come, the world that Truly Is. I love my life in this world far too much, I think, but even here I must be careful not to judge myself lest by judging myself and where I stand in relation to God I should somehow think that my judgement to be accurate, according to a standard that is my own. More pride.
May the Lord grant me true repentance even in spite of my true desires.
If you, the reader wish to know what those are, simply read the first Epistle of John the Theologian in chapter 2,v erses 15 through 17. As well, read the Epistle of James chapter 4, beginning in verse 1 continuing to verse 10. Here, in these epistles to us, am I.
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