" 729 August 1953
Christ is in our midst.
I fully sympathize with your experiences. Even now you are troubled by sins committed in your youth. The enemy of mankind, the devil, made you afraid to open your distressed heart to me when you were here at the monastery.
It is always like that; when a person commits a sin, he thinks he gets consolation from it, but after he has tasted sin, the result is the opposite: great sorrow and languor of spirit, and the poor soul feels like a fish cast ashore. It is a hard situation and a person all but despairs. At such a difficult moment it would be good to talk to an experienced person, who could, of course, undoubtedly help.
There is no sin that is beyond God's mercy, and the sins of the whole world are like a handful of sand thrown into the sea.
But you write: 'Will the Lord forgive me?' You confessed and repented. The Lord forgave you and does not remember your sins. Be sure of this (Ezekiel the prophet). In your difficult time of the past your poor soul suffered and endured the cost of sin. But now be at peace and thank God for his holy mercy.
God accepts equally the Jesus Prayer and remembrance of God. Remembrance of God suits your way of life better. Prayer of the mind must proceed under the guidance of an experienced person who himself knows about it from his experience.
The Lord keep you. I ask your holy prayers. "
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2 comments:
Hey Sophocles,
This letter rings true as I am shocked and horrified by the sins of my youth. It's nice to think that even though we can feel like a "fish cast ashore," we are always called back by the Castor of Nets.
AJO
Aaron,
I too sometimes shudder when I remember some of the things I did in the past. And you're right about our Lord. In Him, the very same events help to humble me and ask more fervently that He would have mercy on me.
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