O LORD, if I turn from Thee, what will become of me?
I have nothing to draw with, I have no hidden reserves.
I have spent myself on the vanities of this world.
I have despised Thine image in me, I have turned my back upon Thee,
Yea, I have spat upon Thee.
I have sought counsel within myself and have received succor from them who love themselves.
They have loved me with the love of of this world, for the world loves its own,
And what am I but a child of this world?
Yes, they love me. Thine image in me, reflecting Thyself, showing forth Thyself,
They suck out of me, for this image reflects their darkness, and in this darkness, themselves.
O great emptiness! Fill me, O LORD!
Despise not the work of Thy hands, for whom have I but Thee, O Lord?
Have You forgotten I am made of clay?
Where are You, o Lord?
My spirit groans, my soul is heavy, mine eyes are downcast.
Where once my pride filled me and I knew it not,
Now even belief in myself goes and Thou standest aloof of me.
I am so unsure, o Lord. Pressed between my former self and Thy Kingdom to come,
Nay, Thy Kingdom here. Am I showing forth fruit of death to this age?
Did Thy saints live these thoughts, O Lord, or am I deluded? Whom may I ask?
If Thou shouldst leave me o Lord, where would I go?
Thou hast made Thyself the friend of the sinner, the one lost and broken.
O LORD! I believe! Help Thou mine unbelief.
Tarry not, for if I turn from Thee, what will become of me?
I have nothing to draw with, I have no hidden reserves.
I have spent myself on the vanities of this world.
I have despised Thine image in me, I have turned my back upon Thee,
Yea, I have spat upon Thee.
I have sought counsel within myself and have received succor from them who love themselves.
They have loved me with the love of of this world, for the world loves its own,
And what am I but a child of this world?
Yes, they love me. Thine image in me, reflecting Thyself, showing forth Thyself,
They suck out of me, for this image reflects their darkness, and in this darkness, themselves.
O great emptiness! Fill me, O LORD!
Despise not the work of Thy hands, for whom have I but Thee, O Lord?
Have You forgotten I am made of clay?
Where are You, o Lord?
My spirit groans, my soul is heavy, mine eyes are downcast.
Where once my pride filled me and I knew it not,
Now even belief in myself goes and Thou standest aloof of me.
I am so unsure, o Lord. Pressed between my former self and Thy Kingdom to come,
Nay, Thy Kingdom here. Am I showing forth fruit of death to this age?
Did Thy saints live these thoughts, O Lord, or am I deluded? Whom may I ask?
If Thou shouldst leave me o Lord, where would I go?
Thou hast made Thyself the friend of the sinner, the one lost and broken.
O LORD! I believe! Help Thou mine unbelief.
Tarry not, for if I turn from Thee, what will become of me?
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17 comments:
Soph,
Bravo, Bravo. Again you show the true meaning of struggle towards God. I love the part, "Did Thy saints live these thoughts, O Lord, or am I deluded?" I'm right with you brother. And I would like to say you and me must be twins, but we ALL go through these dry times of reaching for the kingdom. Thanks again Sal! Oh, "Nay, Thy Kingdom here. Am I showing forth fruit of death to this age?", this part was awesome too.
I also realized a pattern recently. Tell me what you think. From working out and reading material about building muscle, I found we have to bruise and beat up our muscles in order for them to come back stronger and bigger. How wonderful is this in comparison to our spiritual lives. We truly purify through the fire like gold does. When working out we don't get mad at our muscles for getting bruised because we know they're going to makes us more cut. It hurts, we get tired, and we want to give up, but we know how refreshing the whole process of tearing our muscles and building them back up is. But the thing we don't realize is that our effort is getting us to our goal, not the results itself. And so, we must give ourselves up in effort to the Lord and let him build our strengh in life. Amen!
Dear George,
Thank you for your kind words. Your analogy of working out and accepting the pain because we know the end results is so true.
I would say the difference between the two, though, is that when working out the muscles, I would gladly do it because the fruit it yields is glory for myself. I get approval and admiration from my fellow man and "verily, I have my reward". When exercising as a spiritual athlete, the reward is not to be found in this world, but I become alive to the next world. Much of the struggle to continue is on faith. But as to your point, I believe the exercise does break me down to build me back up again, so great point again.
In Christ and in fellowship,
Soph,
Good added point to the workout analogy. But how great it is to be in training for the kingdom to come! Thank God!
Dear George,
Amen, brother.
thanks for stopping by "...weeding out."
drop me an email and weedingoutblog(AT)yahoo(DOT)com and i will try to respond to your question regarding the book --is it "Youth of the Apocalypse" that you are looking for??
~papa herman
new bloghome at: http://papaherman.wordpress.com/
Dear Soph and George:
You heathens can keep your spiritual muscles.
Constantine,
Aw, don't be jealous. Just admire.
Hey Soph, can you delete Costa's comment? I'm very sensitive about my Holy Muscles. Thanks.
Dear George,
Don't worry. The only thing he likes to exercise is his unholy ego.
You two are like tag team wrestlers. You can call yourselves "The Heretics"
Dear Constantine,
As long as I don't have to be in the same church as you, I'll gladly take on heretical status.
Fine, wait till I tell Father
Aren't you spiritual enough to know He already knows? You see why I don't want to be in the same church as you?
infidel
Guys. Seriously, let's get back on track here. So Costa, how do we define God's essence?
I'm not qualified to answer that.
Finally some truth from Costa.
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